Anima, Animus, Animal
It is the morning of the fifth day of the training. The talking stick comes to me and I feel a deep feeling of not yet having worked enough. Every past day I made a very deep journey into my own personal subject. My animals didn’t want to follow what was provided but led me into a very deep process. I feel guilty for not having fulfilled the requirements. Suddenly the whole group starts laughing and I realise that this judgement of myself is ridiculous. Steve asks me: “Ask inside who tells you that you haven’t worked enough,” and a deep journey starts:
Both of my parents tell me. – Why? – Because they aren’t able to act differently. Daddy is standing on my left side and mom on my right side in front of me. They look at me. I ask what they really need from me. Acknowledgement! I can honour them as individuals. But they can’t honour themselves. I keep telling them since years to accept one another but it doesn’t help. There is no connection between them. The energy is flowing through me. Still. I didn’t know, that it is still that intense.
The big bird that accompanied my grandfather when he died into the next dimension appears. He is hovering above my parents and touches their heads with the end of its wings. Now the energy starts flowing through the bird. I ask why he is doing that. “To give you the possibility to breath freely,” he answers. I step aside and go inside the bird to look at the situation from above. I see myself standing there as a child at the age of 3 years. The little girl is staring at their parents stunned. It is lonesome. Mom and dad are staring at each other and have no energy left for their little daughter. She would need so much loving but gets nothing, because they are so occupied with themselves.
Now I’m back in the body of the little girl. My parents have been transformed into two big energy balls. Dad is a blue sphere and mom read. They seem alien and threateningly to me. The bird starts rolling the two balls towards me – very close to my body. Then it opens its wings, touches the balls and makes pressure on me. The balls are glued to my body so that I can hardly breath. It’s impossible for me to move. Now lion comes and sits behind me pushing me too. I nearly choke. Against how much pressure do I have to bear up? Now the bird starts pecking on my head with its pecker. I scream: “That hurts! Why do you do that to me?” “It’s not enough yet,” he answers “not enough…” The tightness, the pressure and the pain get more and more unbearable. Beyond my borders…
After a long time the bird stops pecking and opens its wings to free me. Lion walks back too. The two balls are very small now – marbles. Suddenly the Elven queen appears (my solarplexus animal), takes the marbles and puts each of them in one of my hands. “Give them all your love!” she tells me and sends warm light out of her heart into my heart. The light flows into my arms and into the marbles. Something in me is melting… The love I give to them is pure and unconditional. I cry intensely – it feels so relieving!
After a while it is clear that I have to put my hands – and with this the marbles – together. It is like an alchemistic process. The Elven queen holds my hands in hers und looks into my eyes very deeply and calm. I fear opening my hands because I don’t know what I’m going to find in them. She says: “ Feel with your palms what is inside your hands.” It is green. And cool. It’s an animal! I open my hands: a frog! I start laughing and ask: “Are you the frog of the fairy tale? Are you going to transform into a prince if I give you a kiss?” He smiles. “Try it!” Again I start laughing and kiss him. In the next second a beautiful prince stands in front of me.
He is wearing a silk turban, precious jewels and a sword. “Always at your command!” he says to me and bends forward. I have to laugh again. Lion comes and welcomes him. They know each other. Lion has changed a lot: he is no longer dirty but wears a beautiful saddle full of jewels. He has sparkling green eyes. The Prince takes a seat on the saddle and also Elven queen sits down next to him. What a beautiful couple! The three represent a perfect unity. I go towards them and take a seat with them. What a great fortune!
Now I understand: Lion, Elven queen and prince are my solarplexus animal! Lion starts glowing golden and yellow in all directions. “Now I found my pride!” he says to me and I sob deeply with a feeling of big relief. I am happy. Totally fraught with this wealth. In my body the energy is bubbling freely. A big burden has been taken off my shoulders. Now I’ve worked enough!
The next day in the last journey of the training all of my chakra animals meet in a council. Every animal has a new golden detail on it. Cheetah from my heart welcomes lion rubbing her head against his cheek. They lay down next to each other with their heads supported by the turtle of my root chakra. “Finally we have a powerful centre!” they say to me. “In former times you walked through your life with a hole in your centre. This always attracted situations like a magnet that showed you, that something is missing. This is over! Now that you found your wholeness in the centre, wealth can also grow in the outside. Live out of your wholeness!”
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